1. |
Collage of the Present
09:41
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An ordinary life, an ordinary day
I never knew it any other way
The time fades away like the night into the day
Another hour lost, another bill to pay
The morning washes over me,
circling towards the drain
I try to keep going, ignoring the pain
Looking down at myself,
staring fear in the face,
and in the rippling water
I'm being taken from this
Inner disaster, growing faster in my mind
I am drifting
(Thoughts and memories drift away)
Weigh your future, bury your past
The time will come when the first are last
This present moment, reality so unreal
Functionality fading
Don't understand what I feel
Where is this going?
Can't recall myself
No regard for my life, no regard for my health
Myself to the left, the world to the right
I'm not quite ready to give up this fight
No sense of control, almost like possession
Distorted consciousness, precious regression
What is this I feel taking over me?
I'm now somewhere else momentarily
Where am I? Is this real?
Losing touch with myself
It grips my being and I cannot speak
Its powerful release leaves me weak
In silent euphoria, deafening bliss
Captivated by magnificence,
I witness my insignificance
Everything fades, everything fades
Inner disaster, growing faster in my mind
I am drifting
(Thoughts and memories drift away)
Weigh your future, bury your past
The time will come when the first are last
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2. |
Monologue
04:45
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What have I done?
I stand here holding a gun
I am confused, bemused
and wanting to understand who I am
I just, just gotta know
what's going on inside my mind
I just, just gotta know what is behind
Behind these eyes
Who is this at my feet?
Where am I? No retreat
Find myself incomplete
Drenched in cold, cold sweat
She is gone, all is lost
One mistake, what great cost
Who did this? They will pay
I will avenge you!
I just, just gotta know
what's going on inside my mind
I just, just gotta know what is behind
Behind these eyes
Who, who would take from me my deepest breath,
take the life out of her flesh?
He will taste this pain, these bitter tears
Behind these shattered eyes,
I only fear he runs from himself
Faces of time are shattered on the floor
The smoke is clearing
As I look in this broken mirror,
the divisions are clear
Could this be? All of this born of me?
Ripped apart!
Nothing to gain, nothing to lose
(Nothing is left but empty remains)
Her crimson dress, scarlet canvas of your darkest fury
(What could have been will never be)
You can't pretend that you're innocent any longer
(What could have been will never be)
You know the truth on the edges of your mind
(It was always me! What have I done?)
The actions that unite us cannot be undone
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3. |
Last Chance
05:28
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Take another look around
this abandoned house you found inside of you
Walls and foundations rot away
This storm will bring you down
This is the last chance to find out,
to find that it's not too late to go back
to the last remains of who you were
The last chance to save yourself
Lift this weight upon your mind
Soon this searing pain will leave your body blind
Your time is running out
This pressure will become too much to bear
The last chance to find out,
to find that it's not too late to go back
to the last remains of who you were
The last chance to save yourself
Falling back with nothing left below you
Nothing but the glow of the moon to slow you
Last chance to find out
It's not too late to go back
The last remains of who you were
The last chance to save yourself
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4. |
The Deserter
06:54
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The smoke is thick, I cannot see
There is no one left but me
I put myself into this hole
I signed the deal and sold my soul
As I look down, I see the ground
I don't know that I will be found
As I look up, I see the fire
Consequences looking dire
Alone I stood, alone I died
There was no chance to say goodbye
The dust was thick, I couldn't breathe
Everyone else was gone but me
I cannot laugh, I cannot cry
There's so much more than meets the eye
No emotions cross my face
I left myself within that place
Ten years later, here I stand
I am both the lion and the lamb
I put myself through that hell,
but it was my soul to sell
It hurts more now than before
Everything has changed since the war
To this day my hands are red
with the blood of those who
Murder! Murder!
How dare you call me a deserter?
I was only trying to
Save, save another from the grave!
I am the lion and the lamb
Growing older makes it worse
Memories will never disperse
Numbing myself to reality has never helped
As this moment fades away,
there's still a price to be paid
Like a lion leading the lamb to the slaughter
Murder! Murder!
How dare you call me a deserter?
I was only trying to
Save, save another from the grave!
I am the lion and the lamb
Murder! Murder!
How dare you call me a deserter?
I was only trying to
Save, save another from the grave!
I am the lion and I murder, murder!
How dare you call me a deserter?
I was only trying to
Save, save another from the grave!
I am the lion!
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5. |
Altered State
05:08
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6. |
Shadows
06:00
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Rose petals wither on the floor
as I am left to douse the candles and close the door
Drawing the shades to complete the darkness
Drawing the shades
Shadows have never seemed so empty
Everything that she has taken from me
There was so much left to say
And by the chill that she left with me,
I feel I should be able to see my breath
Rose petals wither on the floor
as I am left to douse the candles and close the door
Drawing the shades to complete the darkness
Of what was once so sweet,
there is nothing left but a memory
As the smoke fills the room,
a murky suspension blurs the dim light
Golden stars of dust suspended
Shining for the days that once were
Longing, yearning, reminiscing you
My only source of light in this darkness
Rose petals wither on the floor
as I am left to douse the candles and close the door
Drawing the shades, for what lies beyond the pane?
I remember when we had everything,
back when you could tell me anything
Never have I felt such worthlessness
Now I know I will live in emptiness
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7. |
Tears of the Past
12:39
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Rain falls down on the trees,
branches heavy with tears of the past,
and the wind speaks to me
at my window
Apathy, indifference controlling me
Isolation
Loneliness, anxiety, hopelessness
Losing interest
Meditate on just one thing
Difficulties concentrating
Innocence, in a sense
I am guilty, I surrender
You can't escape from this
if you don't stop running away from your fears
Blue-gray streaks are coming down
Perfect skies shine in the distance
Barriers that blur my sight
keep me in this dark existence
You can't escape from this
if you don't stop running away from your fears
Life can be bliss if you let it be
Take me away from this and teach me serenity
Surrender and be free (Drawing the shades)
Free, let me be free! (We both know that you can't let me go)
Let me go!
Where am I? Is this real?
Losing touch with myself
All that I am, all things material
All are whole, perfect and beautiful
As this wave of clarity sweeps over me,
we all have the power to choose, the power to BE
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