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Altered State

by Tetrafusion

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1.
An ordinary life, an ordinary day I never knew it any other way The time fades away like the night into the day Another hour lost, another bill to pay The morning washes over me, circling towards the drain I try to keep going, ignoring the pain Looking down at myself, staring fear in the face, and in the rippling water I'm being taken from this Inner disaster, growing faster in my mind I am drifting (Thoughts and memories drift away) Weigh your future, bury your past The time will come when the first are last This present moment, reality so unreal Functionality fading Don't understand what I feel Where is this going? Can't recall myself No regard for my life, no regard for my health Myself to the left, the world to the right I'm not quite ready to give up this fight No sense of control, almost like possession Distorted consciousness, precious regression What is this I feel taking over me? I'm now somewhere else momentarily Where am I? Is this real? Losing touch with myself It grips my being and I cannot speak Its powerful release leaves me weak In silent euphoria, deafening bliss Captivated by magnificence, I witness my insignificance Everything fades, everything fades Inner disaster, growing faster in my mind I am drifting (Thoughts and memories drift away) Weigh your future, bury your past The time will come when the first are last
2.
Monologue 04:45
What have I done? I stand here holding a gun I am confused, bemused and wanting to understand who I am I just, just gotta know what's going on inside my mind I just, just gotta know what is behind Behind these eyes Who is this at my feet? Where am I? No retreat Find myself incomplete Drenched in cold, cold sweat She is gone, all is lost One mistake, what great cost Who did this? They will pay I will avenge you! I just, just gotta know what's going on inside my mind I just, just gotta know what is behind Behind these eyes Who, who would take from me my deepest breath, take the life out of her flesh? He will taste this pain, these bitter tears Behind these shattered eyes, I only fear he runs from himself Faces of time are shattered on the floor The smoke is clearing As I look in this broken mirror, the divisions are clear Could this be? All of this born of me? Ripped apart! Nothing to gain, nothing to lose (Nothing is left but empty remains) Her crimson dress, scarlet canvas of your darkest fury (What could have been will never be) You can't pretend that you're innocent any longer (What could have been will never be) You know the truth on the edges of your mind (It was always me! What have I done?) The actions that unite us cannot be undone
3.
Last Chance 05:28
Take another look around this abandoned house you found inside of you Walls and foundations rot away This storm will bring you down This is the last chance to find out, to find that it's not too late to go back to the last remains of who you were The last chance to save yourself Lift this weight upon your mind Soon this searing pain will leave your body blind Your time is running out This pressure will become too much to bear The last chance to find out, to find that it's not too late to go back to the last remains of who you were The last chance to save yourself Falling back with nothing left below you Nothing but the glow of the moon to slow you Last chance to find out It's not too late to go back The last remains of who you were The last chance to save yourself
4.
The Deserter 06:54
The smoke is thick, I cannot see There is no one left but me I put myself into this hole I signed the deal and sold my soul As I look down, I see the ground I don't know that I will be found As I look up, I see the fire Consequences looking dire Alone I stood, alone I died There was no chance to say goodbye The dust was thick, I couldn't breathe Everyone else was gone but me I cannot laugh, I cannot cry There's so much more than meets the eye No emotions cross my face I left myself within that place Ten years later, here I stand I am both the lion and the lamb I put myself through that hell, but it was my soul to sell It hurts more now than before Everything has changed since the war To this day my hands are red with the blood of those who Murder! Murder! How dare you call me a deserter? I was only trying to Save, save another from the grave! I am the lion and the lamb Growing older makes it worse Memories will never disperse Numbing myself to reality has never helped As this moment fades away, there's still a price to be paid Like a lion leading the lamb to the slaughter Murder! Murder! How dare you call me a deserter? I was only trying to Save, save another from the grave! I am the lion and the lamb Murder! Murder! How dare you call me a deserter? I was only trying to Save, save another from the grave! I am the lion and I murder, murder! How dare you call me a deserter? I was only trying to Save, save another from the grave! I am the lion!
5.
6.
Shadows 06:00
Rose petals wither on the floor as I am left to douse the candles and close the door Drawing the shades to complete the darkness Drawing the shades Shadows have never seemed so empty Everything that she has taken from me There was so much left to say And by the chill that she left with me, I feel I should be able to see my breath Rose petals wither on the floor as I am left to douse the candles and close the door Drawing the shades to complete the darkness Of what was once so sweet, there is nothing left but a memory As the smoke fills the room, a murky suspension blurs the dim light Golden stars of dust suspended Shining for the days that once were Longing, yearning, reminiscing you My only source of light in this darkness Rose petals wither on the floor as I am left to douse the candles and close the door Drawing the shades, for what lies beyond the pane? I remember when we had everything, back when you could tell me anything Never have I felt such worthlessness Now I know I will live in emptiness
7.
Rain falls down on the trees, branches heavy with tears of the past, and the wind speaks to me at my window Apathy, indifference controlling me Isolation Loneliness, anxiety, hopelessness Losing interest Meditate on just one thing Difficulties concentrating Innocence, in a sense I am guilty, I surrender You can't escape from this if you don't stop running away from your fears Blue-gray streaks are coming down Perfect skies shine in the distance Barriers that blur my sight keep me in this dark existence You can't escape from this if you don't stop running away from your fears Life can be bliss if you let it be Take me away from this and teach me serenity Surrender and be free (Drawing the shades) Free, let me be free! (We both know that you can't let me go) Let me go! Where am I? Is this real? Losing touch with myself All that I am, all things material All are whole, perfect and beautiful As this wave of clarity sweeps over me, we all have the power to choose, the power to BE

credits

released October 12, 2010

Mark Michell - bass
J.C. Bryant - drums/percussion
Gary Tubbs - lead vocals/keyboards
Brooks Tarkington - guitars/vocals

Produced by Tetrafusion
Engineered by David Forshee
Mixed & Mastered by David Forshee
Artwork by Patrick Tubbs

"Altered State" was recorded August 2009
in Princeton, LA at QueenSix Studios

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Tetrafusion Shreveport, Louisiana

EST. 2006

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